Thanksgiving - Day Four

Warm apple cider.
Keeps your insides warm.
Keeps your hands warm.
My favorite drink for cold Football mornings or while out enjoying our favorite Fall or Holiday activities.
YUM!

Month of Thanksgiving - Day Three

I am thankful for the time I got to spend with my Brother.  You may or may not know that my Brother, Steve, passed away from cancer in February of this year.  A couple of years ago he came to my house to tell me that he had been diagnosed with cancer and that it didn't look good.  He told me he wasn't looking for any help but that he just wanted someone to know "in case something happened" to him.  From that day forward - for 25 months - I was dedicated to making sure that he didn't have to go through any of his sickness alone.  His wife had passed away from cancer 12 years earlier and he didn't have any Children.  He was also what some might consider "antisocial" and kept a very small circle of close friends.  But I was not going to let that be ok.  I was not going to let him be sick and die alone.  I went with him to all of his chemo sessions, I missed only 1 Drs appt, I accompanied him and sat with him through 4 surgeries and the aftercare that was needed.  I learned how to care for his port and remove his needle when he was able to do chemo at home.  I made many midnight runs (as did my Husband) to go pick him up at his house and bring him to ours because he didn't want to be alone.  I made numerous trips to his house just to sit and hang out with him because he didn't want to leave his house but was lonely.  I called insurance companies, made Dr appts, helped him pay bills, went and picked up groceries ...

I am not telling about all of these things to "toot my own horn".  I am sharing these things because I am SO very grateful for the chance to do these things.  During all of those chemo and Dr appts, or the visits or drives to and from those appts or my house I got to talk to my Brother more than I had in the previous 30+ years.  We talked about anything and everything and, to this day, I hear advice he gave me pop into my head on a regular basis.  My Husband got the chance to know him.  He got closer to him than probably some of our more immediate family is.  Even my kids got close to "Uncle Steve".  Those of you that knew Steve will never believe this but I think at times he actually liked having them around.  Caleb would want to lay by him when he was staying with us.  Parker was always checking on him to make sure he was ok.  And Uncle Steve, in his own way, let those boys know that he thought they were "ok". 

I loved my Brother so much.  I always have.  I hear stories all the time about when I was just 1 or 2 years old and he would always take me everywhere with him even though he was a 16 year old boy.  But I have the best memories of him from the time I was able to spend over the last 2 years.  He told me stories about his life, he told me how he felt about things, and he trusted me to take care of him.
For that time, I am so thankful!  And even more thankful that I was able to be with him, holding his hand, when he took his final breath - he wasn't alone.

Blog resurrection

My Dad has mentioned to me a couple of times over the last year that he really misses reading all of the family blog posts.  Several members of our family have blogs and some are better than others about writing more frequently.  I, for one, am HORRIBLE about being consistent.
So, with that known, don't get your hopes up TOO high, but I am going to try to resurrect this blog of ours and provide an update on our little family here and there. 

Make your day happy

During my last trip to Jamaica, I was sitting outside the hotel waiting for my ride just "people watching" like I so often do.  I was watching the bellmen, the lobby staff, the "room service deliverers", etc.  They are always so happy with a smile on their face.  They greet everyone with a cheery "Good Morning" and are there to respond to the resort guests every need.  But this isn't what I was thinking about that morning.  I mean, I know this is just a part of their job.  What I was thinking of was that I am sure they wake up some mornings not feeling "cheery".  I am sure they have times when the "high maintenance" resort guests really annoy them.  And I am CERTAIN that they get sick of answering the same questions over and over and over again.  But ... they still come to work every morning with a smile on their face and cheerful words for everyone. 
This made me think .. if I was FORCED to do this every day, how would my days be different?  I am pretty sure if I was always positive, making someone else happy, I would probably feel much better than I feel on those days that I feel like nothing I do is right. 
I am not a super negative person and, Thanks to my Parents great example, I USUALLY try to make others happy by giving compliments, smiling at someone, or thanking them for a job well done.  But there are always those days that I would rather just sit by myself and not "deal" with anyone else.  Those people at my hotel in Jamaica ... they don't have that option.  Their job requires that they "deal" with people and they do it with a smile whether they want to or not. 
I am going to try my hardest to do this .. just to see if making someone elses day can make my own day better, too.

Month of Thanksgiving - Day Two

I am thankful for my home.  Our house may not be the biggest.  Our house may not be the fanciest.  Our house is DEFINATELY not the most spotless.  Our house may not be the best decorated.  But our house is a home.  I heard many times growing up that there was a difference between a house and a home.  I understood the concept but now that I have a family of my own, I realize even more how important it is that my house is a home.  My kids are comfortable here.  Their friends are comfortable here.  Maybe we don't have fancy things but we are happy here and people know they are always welcome.
I am thankful for my home.

Month of Thanksgiving - Day One

I tried this last year and only made it like 6 or 7 days in.  I am going to try to do better this year. 
I will try to share one thing that I am thankful for each day this month.

DAY ONE:  A football family.  Ever since the first year Parker played football I have understood what people mean when they reference their "football family".  When you spend that much time dedicated to a sport/team you really get to know not just the other kids on the team but their families as well.  We have been so lucky to have great football families!  We have been able to play with several of the same kids/families on many teams but have had a few changes over the years.  Our very first year of football was when I was pregnant with Bailey, Bailey was born, and Bailey passed away.  Our football family rallied around us and almost every single family from that team came to her viewing.  My most vivid memory of that night, to this day, is of Parker and 4 of his team members standing around the casket looking at Parker's beautiful little sister while he showed them her tiny little hands and feet.  His Head Coach was the first to get there that night and one of the last to leave.  And, as I mentioned before, almost every single family came at some point during the night.  I never would have expected that as it is somewhat hard for an 8 year old boy to understand - but they all came to show their support.  It wasn't just attending the viewing, the Coaches were so great to help that 8 year old boy struggle through the emotions that he wasn't understanding for the rest of the season.  There were times that I was scared of him taking his anger out on other players but those Coaches helped him channel that and taught him the right way to use that aggression.  I could go on and on about that first "Football family".  We continued to have great families as Parker progressed onto other Teams.  Another Coach that I will be forever grateful to is Mick Tryon.  He was the Coach of our Indoor team for a few years and he taught Parker so much about not just football but about life and how to be a good person.  That's another thing that is so great about having a "Football Family" - you are all working together to teach kids how to be good people, good citizens, and to work together as a team.  It's about respect and trust for each other.  There are so many families that I could list that have influenced our lives and probably don't even know it.  Again - thankful for all of our "Football families"!

Caleb's "tact"

I have talked to many of my close friends and family about this before but thought I would document here, as well.  Caleb has always been very open and "matter of fact" when it comes to talking about hard things.  With all of the many situations we have dealt with in our family, Chris and I have always felt it is best to be open and honest with our kids.  This is probably a big part of the reason for Caleb's "openness".  On the other hand, he is too young to understand that sometimes certain things make others uncomfortable so, while things aren't bad to talk about, sometimes you SHOULD "filter".
We have had many, many of these situations, but here is the most recent.

Yesterday Caleb had some outpatient surgery on his foot.  While the Nurse is there prepping him she is trying to make him feel comfortable by carrying on a conversation.  Eventually comes the question that always makes Chris and I cringe when asked of Caleb.
Nurse: "Do you have any Brothers and Sisters?"
Caleb: (Silence as he is trying to decide if he should "filter".)
Me:  "He has a big Brother."
Nurse: "Oh ... No girls huh?"
Caleb: "We had one."
Nurse: (Looks at me with a confused look on her face.)
Caleb: "My Sister died."

Then we end up having to go through the normal reassurance that its ok she asked, it doesn't make us sad to talk about her, how old was she, how did she die, etc.
You would think we were out of the woods then, right?  Nope!  Not with Caleb.

Nurse: "You are so brave.  I bet your Brother wouldn't be this brave.  Is he staying with Grandma while you are here this morning?"
Caleb: "Nope.  My Grandma passed away."  (Yes, the 6 yr old says "passed away".)
Nurse:  (Silent pause.). "Crap.  I'm not asking anymore questions."

Lets just say it just kept going.
On one hand I am glad that our family is ok to talk about things.  On the other hand, I sometimes worry that Caleb is somewhat calloused towards death.  I guess that could happen when you are 6 and have attended 5 funerals of people close to you - 3 of them in the past 3 months.  Not to mention the fact that he watched the care and decline of both his Grandma and Uncle first hand.
I guess, in a sense, death seems like a normal every day occurrence to him.  Good or bad?  I don't know.  :/

Bless his sweet little heart.  I love him to pieces!